January/February 2010 Issue

False Positives

The 10 best excuses given by athletes busted for doping.

Photo of Roger Clemens: Wikimedia Commons

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ATHLETE

WHAT HE SAID CAUSED THE POSITIVE RESULT

Tour de France winner Floyd Landis

Too much Jack Daniel’s

Czech tennis player Petr Korda

Veal dinner

Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson

Sarsaparilla-and-ginseng energy drink

American sprinter Dennis Mitchell

5 beers and 4 sex acts the night before the race

SF Giants slugger Barry Bonds

Flaxseed oil

Pitcher Roger Clemens

Lidocaine and vitamin B12

British shot-putter Paul Edwards

Drinking a bottle of shampoo (seriously)

Tennis champ Andre Agassi

Drinking his assistant’s meth-spiked soda

Italian soccer player Marco Borriello

Rubbing STD medicine on himself

Olympic cyclist Tyler Hamilton

A “vanishing twin” absorbed into his mother’s womb. (Don’t ask.)

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We need to start raising significantly more in donations from our online community of readers, especially from those who read Mother Jones regularly but have never decided to pitch in because you figured others always will. We also need long-time and new donors, everyone, to keep showing up for us.

In "It's Not a Crisis. This Is the New Normal," we explain, as matter-of-factly as we can, what exactly our finances look like, how brutal it is to sustain quality journalism right now, what makes Mother Jones different than most of the news out there, and why support from readers is the only thing that keeps us going. Despite the challenges, we're optimistic we can increase the share of online readers who decide to donate—starting with hitting an ambitious $300,000 goal in just three weeks to make sure we can finish our fiscal year break-even in the coming months.

Please learn more about how Mother Jones works and our 47-year history of doing nonprofit journalism that you don't elsewhere—and help us do it with a donation if you can. We've already cut expenses and hitting our online goal is critical right now.

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