Top Ten Things I’m Still Waiting For From Donald Trump

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In no particular order:

A tour of the warehouse full of Bibles that people have sent him.
All the news clippings from 2003 about his strong opposition to the Iraq War.
The final report of his Hawaii investigators about Barack Obama’s place of birth.
The income tax returns he promised to release several months ago.
A detailed description of the “surgical” strike he supported against Libya.
His directive to all Trump properties that they allow guns on their premises.
Whether he would ever use nuclear weapons against ISIS.
An explanation for why he quietly removed the graphic from this tweet.
An accounting of how much money he made from Trump University, and why he never gave it to charity, as he promised.
His “little retort” to Hillary Clinton’s entirely accurate representation of his foreign policy views. (In fairness, he still has a few hours left to make good on this.)