Things I Hope Will Die in 2020

Ooh, a long list of things we hope will die in 2020. Amazingly enough, I’m on board with almost all of them. I’ll even add a few of my own:

“Correlation is not causation.” Yeah, we know. This doesn’t make you sound nearly as smart as you think.

Kanye. And Kim too. And all the Kardashians. –My sister

Charts that don’t adjust for inflation. Just stop it unless you have a really good reason.

Cats who are too damn picky to drink from the water bowl unless you fill it up while they’re watching. But of course they’ll happily drink out of any disgusting puddle of goop if you let them outside.

Using your smartphone while driving. And not just on the freeway. Everywhere. –My sister

Entering a doorway and then stopping to figure out which way to go. Take a few steps in and then figure it out. ffs.

Driving 15 mph in a school zone. Speed up a little, people.

Driving 35 mph in parking lots. Slow down, people. –My wife

“Thank you for your service.” I’m not the only one who thinks this always sounds fake, am I?

The wall.

Elon Musk and Peter Thiel.

The Bernie finger wag. We aren’t a bunch of naughty children, dude. –My wife.

Star Wars. I’m pretty sad that I have to say this.

New sports in the Olympics. We need to get rid of some sports in the Olympics. Do we really have to endure “sport climbing” and 3×3 basketball next year?

WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

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So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

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And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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