December 24, 2020

If 2021 Is Not Way Better Than 2020, We Should Fire Santa

Fight disinformation: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter and follow the news that matters.

Ho ho ho and merry Christmas (Eve)! 

Have you put out the milk and cookies for jolly ol’ Saint Nick? No, of course not. I’m glad you didn’t. You shouldn’t have. I didn’t. In this economy? Cookies and milk for the head of state of the North Pole? Who can fly and has a magic workshop capable of turning out billions of individualized toys every year? He can get his own milk and cookies.

I’ll go further, it seems like given this magic person’s power that he actually isn’t doing enough for us normal humans. For starters: the gifts should become a universal entitlement. No more targeted “gifts for good Christian children.” No matter your religion, no matter your age, and to be honest, no matter how good you have or haven’t been—who is he to judge us? Who elected him?—Santa owes you a gift. 

2) Those elves should be putting some of their magic powers towards solving climate change and cancer. 

3) Santa’s sleigh must be turned over to the United States and NATO so we can have our scientists find further applications for the flying technology. If, as legend says, the reindeer are the magical element “pulling” the sleigh, then we will need to examine the reindeer. They will need to be studied. They will not be harmed! But they must be studied. But you have my word they won’t be harmed! The sleigh and the reindeer will be returned eventually. 

If these demands are not met immediately then we will be forced to actually go to war on Christmas. 

What else is happening in the world today? As you may know, a few days ago Donald Trump threatened to veto the COVID aid package and demanded that Congress raise the one-time check payments from $600 to $2,000. Democrats quickly agreed to this because they had been pushing for that the whole time. Nancy Pelosi attempted to pass it in the House today with unanimous consent, a procedure which, as the name implies, can be stopped by any single congressperson. And that’s what happened! Republicans said no and the motion failed. Maybe they should talk to Trump, the leader of their party? Maybe Trump should talk to them? Maybe someone should talk to someone?

On Monday, the House is going to take it up again under different rules. At this point, everything seems to be completely up in the air.

I hope you have a very nice Christmas Eve! And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a very nice Thursday!

This post was brought to you by the Mother Jones Daily newsletter, which hits inboxes every weekday and is written by Inae Oh, Ben Dreyfuss, and Abigail Weinberg. It regularly features guest contributions by our much smarter colleagues. Sign up for it here.

AN IMPORTANT UPDATE ON MOTHER JONES' FINANCES

We need to start being more upfront about how hard it is keeping a newsroom like Mother Jones afloat these days.

Because it is, and because we're fresh off finishing a fiscal year, on June 30, that came up a bit short of where we needed to be. And this next one simply has to be a year of growth—particularly for donations from online readers to help counter the brutal economics of journalism right now.

Straight up: We need this pitch, what you're reading right now, to start earning significantly more donations than normal. We need people who care enough about Mother Jones’ journalism to be reading a blurb like this to decide to pitch in and support it if you can right now.

Urgent, for sure. But it's not all doom and gloom!

Because over the challenging last year, and thanks to feedback from readers, we've started to see a better way to go about asking you to support our work: Level-headedly communicating the urgency of hitting our fundraising goals, being transparent about our finances, challenges, and opportunities, and explaining how being funded primarily by donations big and small, from ordinary (and extraordinary!) people like you, is the thing that lets us do the type of journalism you look to Mother Jones for—that is so very much needed right now.

And it's really been resonating with folks! Thankfully. Because corporations, powerful people with deep pockets, and market forces will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. Only people like you will.

There's more about our finances in "News Never Pays," or "It's Not a Crisis. This Is the New Normal," and we'll have details about the year ahead for you soon. But we already know this: The fundraising for our next deadline, $350,000 by the time September 30 rolls around, has to start now, and it has to be stronger than normal so that we don't fall behind and risk coming up short again.

Please consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

—Monika Bauerlein, CEO, and Brian Hiatt, Online Membership Director

payment methods

AN IMPORTANT UPDATE ON MOTHER JONES' FINANCES

We need to start being more upfront about how hard it is keeping a newsroom like Mother Jones afloat these days.

Because it is, and because we're fresh off finishing a fiscal year, on June 30, that came up a bit short of where we needed to be. And this next one simply has to be a year of growth—particularly for donations from online readers to help counter the brutal economics of journalism right now.

Straight up: We need this pitch, what you're reading right now, to start earning significantly more donations than normal. We need people who care enough about Mother Jones’ journalism to be reading a blurb like this to decide to pitch in and support it if you can right now.

Urgent, for sure. But it's not all doom and gloom!

Because over the challenging last year, and thanks to feedback from readers, we've started to see a better way to go about asking you to support our work: Level-headedly communicating the urgency of hitting our fundraising goals, being transparent about our finances, challenges, and opportunities, and explaining how being funded primarily by donations big and small, from ordinary (and extraordinary!) people like you, is the thing that lets us do the type of journalism you look to Mother Jones for—that is so very much needed right now.

And it's really been resonating with folks! Thankfully. Because corporations, powerful people with deep pockets, and market forces will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. Only people like you will.

There's more about our finances in "News Never Pays," or "It's Not a Crisis. This Is the New Normal," and we'll have details about the year ahead for you soon. But we already know this: The fundraising for our next deadline, $350,000 by the time September 30 rolls around, has to start now, and it has to be stronger than normal so that we don't fall behind and risk coming up short again.

Please consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

—Monika Bauerlein, CEO, and Brian Hiatt, Online Membership Director

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate