July 25, 2022

I’m Giving You Permission to Stop Talking About Elon Musk’s Sex Life

The Tesla billionaire is neither attractive nor interesting enough to care about. His shitty plans, however, are.

Britta Pedersen/AP

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A sordid tale of two tech-lords, an alleged affair, and a potentially fractured friendship is making the rounds, forcing us mere mortals to consider the private parts of billionaires. The offending party is Elon Musk, rendering this entire news cycle yet another trap to think about Musk’s little life—and, in this chapter, an even littler part of it: his sex life.

But I’m here to set you free. We don’t have to wonder about the Wall Street Journal’s report that Musk carried out a brief affair with the wife of one of the Google founders. They seem to be having a fun, expensive time together without your concern. Forget that he now claims he hasn’t “had sex in ages” or whether or not he recently had twins.

Billionaire trolls with absurd personalities are basically law in capitalism. But Musk is neither attractive nor interesting enough to explain the recent deluge of coverage over his private life. I’ve seen his chest. I’ve had enough. Here’s a list of stuff it seems like Elon Musk has fucked that does warrant your attention:

But hey, life is a ledger. When it gives you Joni Mitchell’s first full set in over twenty years, it also creates mind-melting traps that force you to wonder about Elon Musk’s sex life. I’m sorry.

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We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

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Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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