October 9, 1996

The Mother Jones Poll

We <a href="/news/feature/1996/10/results100496.html">asked</a> our readers to suggest a new campaign slogan for Bob Dole — one that he could actually remember. We were inundated with responses: plenty of bad old age jokes, tobacco references, citrus fruit puns, tasteless arm jokes, stage-diving jokes, and gratuitous sex jokes. Plus <a href="/news/feature/1996/10/duh_dole.ram">one</a> that we just didn’t think would work so well in print. Here’s the MoJo Wire picks for the…

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Top Ten New Campaign Slogans for Bob Dole:

10. “Bob Dole, I’ve known more presidents than you can name.” (Hector Acuna)

9. “The anti-drug (except tobacco, or other addictions that pay well) President.” (Dwight Ratcliff)

8. “Sure I’m old, but I’ve got a Web page.” (Dave Sanders)

7. “Let’s turn America into a Pineapple Republic.” (J. Peter Saint-Andre)

6. “The more Bics you flick, the more Doles you pick!” (Lee Eisenstein)

5. “He puts the O back in GOP.” (Dave Isaacson)

4. “I did *not* fall off the stage. I thought that was the mosh pit.” (“fletcher”)

3. “You kids knock it off back there or I’ll stop this country and you can all walk to the 21st century!!” (John Gerardi)

2. “Backwards or forwards — it’s still Bob.” (Mike MacHarg)

1. “Newt’s in the past, Liddy don’t sass, My tax cut’s a gas, Let’s kick Willy’s ass.” (Nick Teti)

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4 DAYS LEFT—AND EVERYTHING RIDING ON IT

A full one-third of our annual fundraising comes in this month alone. That’s risky, because a strong December means our newsroom is on the beat and reporting at full strength—but a weak one means budget cuts and hard choices ahead.

With just 4 days left, we need a huge surge in reader support to get to our $400,000 year-end goal. Whether you've given before or this is your first time, your contribution right now matters. All gifts are 3X matched and tax-deductible.

Managing an independent, nonprofit newsroom is staggeringly hard. There’s no cushion in our budget—no backup revenue, no corporate safety net. We can’t afford to fall short, and we can’t rely on corporations or deep-pocketed interests to fund the fierce, investigative journalism Mother Jones exists to do. That’s why we need you right now. Please chip in to help close the gap.

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