Tip to Thieves: Rolexes Engraved “Paris Hilton” Are Not a Good Idea

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It’s Friday afternoon and this blogger is going to indulge in a brief moment of “I’m smarter than you.” (It’s a blogger thing.) Not that I’m such a genius, but I think if I were an LAX airport employee and were going to steal some stuff from passenger luggage, I would avoid luggage belonging to celebrities. Chances are, they’ll have one of their people report the theft, and chances are city officials will investigate since Los Angeles’ very existence depends on its being celebrity-friendly. So, you see, I am smarter than the 8 luggage screeners and 3 others being charged with stealing jewelry, expensive watches, and cigarettes from Paris Hilton and the singer Keyshia Cole.

What an amazing Friday! I’m veritably high on myself right now.

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We've never been very good at being conservative.

And usually, that serves us well in doing the ambitious, hard-hitting journalism that you turn to Mother Jones for. But it also means we can't afford to come up short when it comes to scratching together the funds it takes to keep our team firing on all cylinders, and the truth is, we finished our budgeting cycle on June 30 about $100,000 short of our online goal.

This is no time to come up short. It's time to fight like hell, as our namesake would tell us to do, for a democracy where minority rule cannot impose an extreme agenda, where facts matter, and where accountability has a chance at the polls and in the press. If you value our reporting and you can right now, please help us dig out of the $100,000 hole we're starting our new budgeting cycle in with an always-needed and always-appreciated donation today.

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