Winter Holidays = God Awful Pop Music

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Regrettably, I spent my morning listening to songs on the Monster Ballads Xmas CD and the LeeVees’ How Do You Spell Channukkahh EP. Any holiday spirit I had when I woke up this morning has now been completely ripped out of my system.

I’m not sure why holiday rock almost always = terrible rock, but the monster ballad CD and the silly Jewish rock EP are living proof that rock songs about Santa and pop songs about potato latkes are not, and will never be, cool, funny, interesting, or enjoyable in any way. I want to personally thank them for giving me a full-fledged holiday headache.

Did Lita Ford really think that recording “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” with Twisted Sister was a good use of her time? And when Tom Keifer of Cinderella sings “Blue Christmas,” all I can think is, who the hell is Tom Keifer? As difficult as it is for me to admit that I actually bought a Winger tape (yes, a cassette tape) once, their version of “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” is four minutes and six seconds of sheer torture. As for the LeeVees, to me they sound like They Might Be Giants performing at a Bar Mitzvah.

Twisted Sister guitarist Jay Jay French, a co-executive producer of the rock CD, had this to say about the compilation:”‘The ‘Monster Ballads Xmas’ CD will bring the party vibe into the holiday season with enough hairspray to further enlarge the hole in the ozone layer above the North Pole.” Wow.

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SIX TRUTHS

Reclaiming power from those who abuse it often starts with telling the truth. And in "This Is How Authoritarians Get Defeated," MoJo's Monika Bauerlein unpacks six truths to remember during the homestretch of an election where democracy, truth, and decency are on the line.

Truth #1: The chaos is the point.

Truth #2: Team Reality is bigger than it seems.

Truth #3: Facebook owns this.

Truth #4: When we go to work, we're in the fight.

Truth #5: It's about minority rule.

Truth #6: The only thing that can save us is…us.

Please take a moment to see how all these truths add up, because what happens in the weeks and months ahead will reverberate for at least a generation and we better be prepared.

And if you think journalism like Mother Jones'—that calls it like it is, that will never acquiesce to power, that looks where others don't—can help guide us through this historic, high-stakes moment, and you're able to right now, please help us reach our $350,000 goal by October 31 with a donation today. It's all hands on deck for democracy.

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