May 13, 2008

If Superman is a Democrat, Is Batman a Republican?

Fight disinformation: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter and follow the news that matters.


rorschach-ron-paul.jpg

DC Comics has just announced that it’s sending its characters into the most terrifying parallel universe yet: the American political system. At a comic-con last week, the publisher’s executive editor talked about its upcoming “DC Decisions” series, in which members of the DC universe will declare their partisan affiliations. “Everyone’s talking politics; it’s an elections year, and we’re going to try to see how the characters of our universe react to that,” he said, which I think means that his writers have completely run out of material. So now that superheroes are going to start meddling in domestic politics, which way will they swing politically? A few guesses at some of the exciting partisan plot twists to come, after the jump.

Possible political revelations in “DC Decisions”:

Superman: Illegal immigrant, journalist
Plot twist: Uses super-duperdelegate powers to reverse time and rig the delegate-counting at the Democratic convention.

Batman: Aging, super-wealthy crime fighter
Plot twist: Liked Giuliani, but now can’t decide between McCain and former president Luthor.

Robin: “Ward” of aging, super-wealthy crime fighter
Plot twist: Embarrassed when alternate-universe Obama is forced to declare that “Earth-Two Dick Grayson does not speak for me.”

Wonder Woman: Broke the glass ceiling in her invisible jet.
Plot twist: Once used her bracelets to deflect Bosnian sniper fire during a top-secret mission.

Plastic Man: Extremely flexible, perfect hair
Plot twist: This early Mitt Romney backer may sit this one out.

Green Lantern: Cool ring gives him godlike powers
Plot twist: Attacked on cable news after he says American flag lapel pins leave unsightly holes in his unitard.

Aquaman: Hangs out with fishes, probably suffering from mercury poisoning.
Plot twist: Sending telepathic signals to get Al Gore to run.

Supergirl: Superman’s cousin and occasional jailbait.
Plot Twist: Retreats to the Fortress of Solitude after her “I’ve Got a Crush on Kucinich” video is leaked.

Rorschach: Creepy objectivist loner
Plot twist: Being wooed by Ron Paul as a possible running mate.

All Paulite and DC fanboy hate mail in the comments, thanks!

THE FACTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.

At least we hope they will, because that’s our approach to raising the $350,000 in online donations we need right now—during our high-stakes December fundraising push.

It’s the most important month of the year for our fundraising, with upward of 15 percent of our annual online total coming in during the final week—and there’s a lot to say about why Mother Jones’ journalism, and thus hitting that big number, matters tremendously right now.

But you told us fundraising is annoying—with the gimmicks, overwrought tone, manipulative language, and sheer volume of urgent URGENT URGENT!!! content we’re all bombarded with. It sure can be.

So we’re going to try making this as un-annoying as possible. In “Let the Facts Speak for Themselves” we give it our best shot, answering three questions that most any fundraising should try to speak to: Why us, why now, why does it matter?

The upshot? Mother Jones does journalism you don’t find elsewhere: in-depth, time-intensive, ahead-of-the-curve reporting on underreported beats. We operate on razor-thin margins in an unfathomably hard news business, and can’t afford to come up short on these online goals. And given everything, reporting like ours is vital right now.

If you can afford to part with a few bucks, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones with a much-needed year-end donation. And please do it now, while you’re thinking about it—with fewer people paying attention to the news like you are, we need everyone with us to get there.

payment methods

THE FACTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.

At least we hope they will, because that’s our approach to raising the $350,000 in online donations we need right now—during our high-stakes December fundraising push.

It’s the most important month of the year for our fundraising, with upward of 15 percent of our annual online total coming in during the final week—and there’s a lot to say about why Mother Jones’ journalism, and thus hitting that big number, matters tremendously right now.

But you told us fundraising is annoying—with the gimmicks, overwrought tone, manipulative language, and sheer volume of urgent URGENT URGENT!!! content we’re all bombarded with. It sure can be.

So we’re going to try making this as un-annoying as possible. In “Let the Facts Speak for Themselves” we give it our best shot, answering three questions that most any fundraising should try to speak to: Why us, why now, why does it matter?

The upshot? Mother Jones does journalism you don’t find elsewhere: in-depth, time-intensive, ahead-of-the-curve reporting on underreported beats. We operate on razor-thin margins in an unfathomably hard news business, and can’t afford to come up short on these online goals. And given everything, reporting like ours is vital right now.

If you can afford to part with a few bucks, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones with a much-needed year-end donation. And please do it now, while you’re thinking about it—with fewer people paying attention to the news like you are, we need everyone with us to get there.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate