The Great Crist eBay Selloff!

Courtesy of <a href="http://blogs.tampabay.com/buzz/2010/04/masterstrokes-the-rpof-oil-paintings-of-charlie-crist-greer-delmar.html">the St. Petersburg Times</a>.

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Two things you can always count on Republicans to do with astounding alacrity: Burn bridges and turn a quick buck. And thanks to the party defection of moderate Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, GOPers plan on doing both in one swift move!

Crist, of course, announced yesterday he’d run for senator as an independent, sidestepping what by all accounts would have been a GOP primary face-smashing at the hands of babyfaced archconservative and Tea Party darling Marco Rubio. The state Republican apparatus, which had recently been purged of its Crist-friendly chairman, wasted no time in implementing its omerta code against the sitting governor, announcing that they’d take down an oil painting of Crist at the party headquarters and dump it for a quick sale on eBay. “He’s been gone a long while,” state party commissar chairman John Thrasher complained of Crist, after saying he’d sell the painting. [Full video is below.]

This is no small stunt, mind you. That portrait—a $7,500 rendering of the governor who was once called “Chain Gang Charlie”—is actually the focus of a possible probe into financial misappropriations by the state party. And it’s tough to tell whether state GOPers were being sincere, or if they were just trying to fit their size 10s into their mouths as usual—like RNC Chairman Michael Steele did yesterday when he blustered: “There will be no senator Crist.” Which, of course, could look really bad if Crist wins…and the GOP seeks his vote in their caucus.

As of this writing, there’s no oil painting of Charlie on eBay. But there’s lots of great other stuff, forming a fungible, melodramatic narrative of the governor’s political life to date: the many faces of Crist! Here’s a brief selection:

  • An autographed “Charlie Crist: GOVERNOR” business card, along with some cards signed by some other shlubs who run some other states, but who cares about them? The top bid thus far is $9.39, which is slightly more than a buck per governor!
  • A campaign button from Charlie Crist’s gubernatorial campaign, reminding conservatives that he hates crime. “You just can’t chain a good man down,” it reads, along with a shot of the guv, a set of shackles, and a quote from Crist himself: “Let’s bring hard labor back to the penal system.” [UPDATE: Sold for $11.61!!]
  • A “John McCain/Charlie Crist” button from the 2008 presidential campaign. Has a reserve price of $1.99. No bids yet.
  • A button calling Crist “The Right Choice” for president in 2012. Available for instant purchase in bulk quantities!
  • Then there’s the seller who claims to possess “PICS of FL GOV CHARLIE CRIST snorting lines of COCAINE!” (Why not? After all, he is a graduate of that esteemed party school, Florida State.) They can be yours for a starting bid of $600,000. Hey, the seller’s got a 100 percent positive rating. So buy with confidence!

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WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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