How to Talk to Your Teen Headbanger

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So you want to communicate better with your sullen, alienated teen, whose earsplitting music just sounds like so much godawful noise? Well imagine how 16-year-old Tommy’s jaw will drop to the floor when, sitting around the dinner table, you casually say, “Oh, I don’t know about you, but Gorgoroth shreds so much harder than that weak death-metal stuff, you know, like Fleshrot.”

“But, but what about Mastodon?” Tommy stammers, disbelieving.

“Meh,” you say. “I’m not so into the progressive crap. Gimme some good thrash, you know, Kreator ‘n’ shit.”

In three short minutes, your relationship is back on track thanks to Raz Ben Ari’s recent video, which will teach you—and your mom—to recognize various metal subgenres, distinguishing glam from thrash from power metal from black metal. The takeaway message, at least for me, is that subgenres are plain stupid. Why would any band limit itself when it’s so much more fun to string 10 subgenres together within one song, as RBA does here? Okay, listen and learn. Quiz after.

Okay, now it’s quiz time. Name the following subgenre(s):

P.S. Don’t forget to study for next week’s quiz: riffs (see below). And fer Lucifer’s sake, buy your kid a helmet!

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And the truth is, going into the final 4 days of the year we still needed to raise $TK to hit our $350,000 goal and start 2021 on track. It's nerve-wracking, wondering if the big spike we normally see at the end of December is going to be another thing that doesn't go as planned in 2020, or worse, if, now that Donald Trump is set to leave the White House (for longer than a taxpayer-funded golf trip to a property he owns), folks might be pulling back from fighting for the truth and a democracy and think the hard work is done.

It's not, and if you can right now, please consider a year-end donation to support our team's fearless nonprofit journalism so we can close that big fundraising gap and finish the year strong, ready for all that's ahead in 2021. Whether you can give $5 or $500, it all matters in keeping us charging hard, and we'd be grateful.

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