Caption Contest Challenge: Evil Nixon

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Rapid City, South Dakota—See that there? That’s our 37th president, Richard Milhous Nixon. And while you can’t see it in this photo, he’s actually sitting right across from a 24-hour Hardee’s just off Main Street in southwest South Dakota’s largest metropolitan area. 

Since Rapid City fancies itself as the gateway to the Black Hills, its street corners are decorated with statues of all the presidents who didn’t make it up onto the side of the big mountain. Calvin Coolidge is there, holding a saddle for some reason. So are Herbert Hoover and John Quincy Adams. It’s Mount Rushmore’s Island of Misfit Toys.

So what’s even going on in this photo? Why is Nixon smiling like that? Why are his hands clasped? What’s up with the menacing lizards just below the arm rests? Why is he flashing so much ankle? Did he just put a hit out on McGovern or something? What is the deal?

I have no idea, but maybe you do. Send us your best caption ideas in the comments, or ping me @timothypmurphy, and I’ll post the winner later today.

The winner gets…his/her entry posted. Sorry, guys; we’re on a budget here.

Profile shot below the jump, in case this one didn’t do it for you.

Update: We have winner: “Release the hounds, Smithers,” from commenter Eric Dana. I would also have accepted “Bring me the muggle, Nagini.”

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TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

We have an ambitious $350,000 online fundraising goal this month and it's truly crunch time: About 15 percent of our yearly online giving usually comes in during the final week of the year, and in "No Cute Headlines or Manipulative BS," we explain why we simply can't afford to come up short right now.

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That's why donations big and small make up 74 percent of our budget this year. There is no backup to keep us going, no alternate revenue source, no secret benefactor. If readers don’t donate, we won’t be here. It's that simple.

And if you can help us out with a donation right now, all online gifts will be matched thanks to an incredibly generous matching gift pledge.

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