The Uterus Monologues: Limericks From Our Readers

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A week ago, the Florida GOP scolded Rep. Scott Randolph (D-Orlando) when he used the word “uterus” on the statehouse floor. We at Mother Jones couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the word, and why it wasn’t deemed worthy for public. So Jen Phillips penned a limerick in response, calling on readers to post their own reactions to the Florida GOP’s buffoonery. Here are some of our favorites:

 

 

From Active Peacemaker:

A Florida Rep. shouted with rage,
“We can’t use those words near a page.
I’m convinced by my work
We were brought by the Stork!”
Now please put that Rep. back in his cage. 

 deanz:

There once was a party so grand
It thought it would give God a hand
By helping her tutor us
on words hardly new to us
but soon She’ll be having *them* banned

 To Womb it May Concern:

The word uterus is naughty, you see
Not for use in polite company
They’ve deprived half the nation
Of sex education
Now it burns whene’er they GO P.

While demagogues Stately and Clerical,
encourage their gals to get spherical
they won’t lessen its stature
with crass nomenclature
to use Uterus makes them hysterical.

Amy Sharp

So they think that uterus is offensive…
it is time to get down down off the fences
to hold hands and skip
to the beat of something hip
and get the country back to its sense

Valerie Hope Starr

I’d quiver to think what they’d to us
dare we mention that naughty word uterus
we can pillage, rape, maim but not mention that name
of the place whence we came fore you knew of us

Jim Bazen

Some words are a source of dissension.
They require a thorough preemption.
Now the Reps are all riled
’bout the fetus who filed
A uterine homestead exemption.

Brenda Cummings

The Republicans don’t like my uterus.
Revelations like these aren’t new to us.
They don’t care for humanity,
They’ve lost their sanity—
We ALL came from one—unum e pluribus?

Thepink Pantsuit

To reject a word such as uterus
I find nothing short of ludicrous
Does not the blessing of birth
Define a woman’s self-worth
What more can the GOP to do us?

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And usually, that serves us well in doing the ambitious, hard-hitting journalism that you turn to Mother Jones for. But it also means we can't afford to come up short when it comes to scratching together the funds it takes to keep our team firing on all cylinders, and the truth is, we finished our budgeting cycle on June 30 about $100,000 short of our online goal.

This is no time to come up short. It's time to fight like hell, as our namesake would tell us to do, for a democracy where minority rule cannot impose an extreme agenda, where facts matter, and where accountability has a chance at the polls and in the press. If you value our reporting and you can right now, please help us dig out of the $100,000 hole we're starting our new budgeting cycle in with an always-needed and always-appreciated donation today.

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