Flowchart: “Can I Get Pregnant?”

Learn the biology of your body, according to conservative male lawmakers.

Remember the birds and the bees? The miracle of birth? Forget everything you knew. Turns out there’s a lot more to birthin’ babies than you might have learned in your godless socialist public-school health class. From this weekend’s assertion by Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.) that women can’t conceive babies during a “legitimate rape” to Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) saying Monday that he didn’t know of any pregnancies caused by incest or statutory rape, conservative male lawmakers targeting reproductive rights have always held, shall we say, minority views on the biology of all things uterine.

Did you know about women’s natural stress-induced spermicides? Have you ever seen “God’s little protective shield” in a vagina? That’s because they don’t exist—but these legislators don’t know that.

If you’re of the double-X persuasion, all of this might leave you a bit flummoxed as to whether you’ll conceive. Well, don’t worry your pretty little head about it: We’ve collected the basics of reproductive biology according to conservative politicians, in a handy flowchart format. Need to determine your uterus’ destiny? Just ask these men!

Want it in chart form? Click to embiggen:

Interactive production by Tasneem Raja. Want to make your own “Choose Your Own Adventure” flowchart? Check out our GitHub page to fork our code!

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DEMOCRACY DOES NOT EXIST...

without free and fair elections, a vigorous free press, and engaged citizens to reclaim power from those who abuse it.

In this election year unlike any other—against a backdrop of a pandemic, an economic crisis, racial reckoning, and so much daily crazy—Mother Jones' journalism is driven by one simple question: Will America will move closer to, or further from, justice and equity in the years to come?

If you're able to, please join us in this mission with a donation today. Our reporting right now is focused on voting rights and election security, corruption, disinformation, racial and gender equity, and the climate crisis. We can’t do it without the support of readers like you, and we need to give it everything we've got between now and November. Thank you.

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