MoJo’s Official DNC Scavenger Hunt

Politician kissing baby: +1 <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/whitehouse/7743234824/sizes/z/in/photostream/">Barack Obama</a>/Flickr

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On Thursday, President Barack Obama will arrive in Charlotte to accept the Democratic nomination for blah blah blah blah blah. Look, conventions can all start to mesh together at a certain point, so to help cut through the clutter, we’ve decided to turn the Democratic National Convention into a game: It’s the official MoJo DNC scavenger hunt. Winner wins nothing, unless you actually find John Edwards, in which case we’ll give you a reporting credit and you’ll probably get an earful from his people.

Randall Terry delegate: +50

Keith Judd delegate: +100

Keith Judd: +911

—Phonetic transcript of Boston mayor Tom “Mumbles” Menino’s speech: +30

—Bank of America execs cozying up to Democratic members of the House Committee on Financial Services: +25

—Official DNC literature rebranding Charlotte’s Bank of America Stadium as “Panther Stadium“: +5

Hologram Ronald Reagan: +50

—Hologram Saul Alinsky: +500

—RNC Chair Reince Priebus, crashing a party: +10

—Empty chair: +1

—Delegate posing with empty chair: +20

—Cher, looking empty: +50

—A homeless person who hasn’t been forcibly relocated from downtown: +10

—A Scientologist trying to convert an Occupy protester: +5

—Newark Mayor Cory Booker: +10; with superhero cape: +100

—Former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, looking lost: +5

—San Antonio’s 35-year-old mayor and keynote speaker Julian Castro: +5

—San Antonio’s 35-year-old congressman-elect Joaquin Castro: +5

—Reporter inadvertently interviewing Joaquin under the impression he’s identical twin Julian: +15

—Box of M&Ms with official presidential seal: +50

—Box of Nicorette gum with official presidential seal: +150

—Party that serves recently declassified White House beer recipe, a.k.a. “Swill List”: +20

“Kill List”: +1,000

—Code Pink members protesting drones: +5; while being monitored by Charlotte Police Department drone: +35

Faded Obama poster: +10; with twentysomething staring at it blankly: +20

—Conservative saboteur James O’Keefe: +5; dressed like an imam: +50; dressed like Iman: +100

—John Edwards: +200

—Biden!: +1; cruising around town in a freshly-washed Trans-Am: +101

—”Green” event sponsored by oil or natural gas company: +5 (up to 10)

—Event with union bosses catered by nonunion workers: +20

Union bosses, period: +5 (up to 10)

—Drake, in character: +10

Wayne Knight, in character: +50

—Kal Penn, in character: +100

—Use of term “game changer” to describe an ultimately meaningless speech: +1 (up to 100)

—Lawmaker-turned-lobbyist, talking to lawmakers: +10 (up to 10)

—Delegate with donkey on top of hat: +2 (up to 10)

—Delegate with dog on top of hat, à la Seamus Romney: +20

—Actual donkey: +20

—Hologram Seamus Romney: +400

—SOROOOOOOOS! +1,000

—Michael Jordan: Game Over

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We've never been very good at being conservative.

And usually, that serves us well in doing the ambitious, hard-hitting journalism that you turn to Mother Jones for. But it also means we can't afford to come up short when it comes to scratching together the funds it takes to keep our team firing on all cylinders, and the truth is, we finished our budgeting cycle on June 30 about $100,000 short of our online goal.

This is no time to come up short. It's time to fight like hell, as our namesake would tell us to do, for a democracy where minority rule cannot impose an extreme agenda, where facts matter, and where accountability has a chance at the polls and in the press. If you value our reporting and you can right now, please help us dig out of the $100,000 hole we're starting our new budgeting cycle in with an always-needed and always-appreciated donation today.

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