Meet the Stars of “2012: The Movie”

Jon Hamm as Mitt Romney. Steven Seagal as Joe Biden. Casting the inevitable TV movie based on the 2012 election.

When HBO inevitably makes a miniseries or made-for-TV movie out of the insanely unpredictable 2012 presidential election, here are the really, really, really ridiculously good-looking people who will hopefully star in it.

 

1. Jon Hamm as Mitt Romney

Sexiest man. creditOne of these men won GQ‘s “International Man” award in 2010. One did not. s_bukley/Shutterstock; Gage Skidmore/Flickr

 

2. Paul Rudd as Paul Ryan

this has this has When life gives you lemons, just say ‘fuck the lemons’ and bail,” is actually an apt metaphor for Ryan’s policy proposals for Medicaid. Featureflash/Shutterstock; love4utah/Flickr

 

 

3. Giancarlo Esposito as Barack Obama

slick flickrIn a sick sort of way, Esposito already has played the president. NBC; Elizabeth Cromwell/Wikimedia Commons

 

4. Steven Seagal as Joe Biden

Joe Biden will not return for "Machete Kills."  flickr Joe Biden will not return for Machete Kills. 20th Century Fox; isafmedia/Flickr

 

5. Regina King as Michelle Obama

Caption caption wiki ; wikiSome of King’s most overtly political roles: The Ant Bully and Legally Blonde 2. Regina King; Joyce N. Boghosian/The White House

 

6. Jayma Mays as Ann Romney

If Elizabeth  wiki ; wikiIf Elizabeth Banks could play Laura Bush, then… (Also, Amy Poehler as a runner-up.) Kristin Dos Santos/Flickr; fredthompson/Flickr


7. Jonah Hill as Newt Gingrich

the wiki ; wikiHill has range. He’s played a Japanese samurai before. IowaPolitics.com/Flickr; Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

 

8. Sir Ian McKellen as Ron Paul

The ring was indeed gold. wiki ; wikiThe ring was indeed gold. LOTR Wiki; Ludwig von Mises Institute

 

9. Steve Carell as Rick Santorum

He admits  wiki ; wikiHe admits it, too. Universal Studios; Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

 

 

10. Jon Voight as Donald Trump

Also, political blood brothers. wiki ; wikiAlso, political blood brothers. Poppleganger/YouTube; Gage Skidmore/Flickr

 

 

11. Will Ferrell as Rick Perry

Ferrell is also real-life fraternity brothers with this other Republican you might have heard of. wiki ; wikiFerrell is also a fraternity brother of another Republican you might have heard of. Warner Bros.; Rick Perry/Facebook

 

 

12. James Earl Jones as Herman Cain

For the record,  wiki ; wikiBoth alto singers, but only one of them has serenaded pizza pies. Gage Skidmore/Flickr; Screenshot: The White House

 

 

13. Vin Diesel as Cory Booker

The both . wiki ; wikiBoth men rescue civilians from burning buildings professionally. Andre Portfolio/Flickr; Official website of Newark

 

 

14. Gene Simmons as Moammar Qaddafi

"shitty" - either of them, probably. wiki ; wiki“[Obama’s] been a piss-poor president as far as I’m concerned.” — Either of them, probably. (In 2012: The Movie, Qaddafi appears in a crucial, Libya-related 2011 flasback. Why not?) Luke Ford/Wikimedia Commons; James Gordon/Wikimedia Commons

 

 

15. Clint Eastwood as Clint Eastwood

He was in a movie with Justin Timberlake in 2012, too. wiki ; wikiHe was in a movie with Justin Timberlake in 2012, too, just so you know. Screenshot: Alec McRae/YouTube; Zach D. Roberts/Twitter

 

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson (to meet the demands of a gigantic cast and epic scope)

Screenwriter: Not Aaron Sorkin (as pennance for this)

More casting and character ideas? Leave ’em in the comments.

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THE TRUTH IS...

what drives Mother Jones' team of 50-plus journalists. The truth is powerful, as evidenced by how hard those with something to hide, or profit to gain, seek to discredit it. The truth, stated boldly and reported meticulously, is what draws so many readers to Mother Jones.

And the truth is, going into the final 4 days of the year we still needed to raise $TK to hit our $350,000 goal and start 2021 on track. It's nerve-wracking, wondering if the big spike we normally see at the end of December is going to be another thing that doesn't go as planned in 2020, or worse, if, now that Donald Trump is set to leave the White House (for longer than a taxpayer-funded golf trip to a property he owns), folks might be pulling back from fighting for the truth and a democracy and think the hard work is done.

It's not, and if you can right now, please consider a year-end donation to support our team's fearless nonprofit journalism so we can close that big fundraising gap and finish the year strong, ready for all that's ahead in 2021. Whether you can give $5 or $500, it all matters in keeping us charging hard, and we'd be grateful.

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