Knock Knock. “Who’s There?” “Donald Trump.”

<a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/507158574670573568">@realDonaldTrump</a>/Twitter

Let our journalists help you make sense of the noise: Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily newsletter and get a recap of news that matters.


(Knock knock)

“Who’s there?”

“Donald.”

“Donald who?”

“Donald Trump.”

(Deadbolts door)

“Honey! Quick, hide the kids! An anti-vaccine lunatic is here!”

“Oh Jesus!”

“Hurry! Take them into the basement.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I have to make sure you’re safe.”

“No, please! Come with us!”

“Mommy!”

“This is my responsibility. I am your wife. I am their mother…Please, I love you. What type of mother would I be if I let some anti-vax nut near our kids?”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much. Go, please.”

(Husband and kids begin down stairs to basement, wife prepares to close basement door, husband looks up at her one last time)

“I’ll pray for you.”

“Pray for all of us.”

(Wife closes door, returns to entry hall, Donald is still knocking)

“Hello? You there? This is no way to treat Donald Trump! This is a lot like the time Dennis Rodman was on my hit show. He came into the boardroom and I said—.”

“Please, just go away.”

(Beat)

“I have no where else to go.”

(Beat)

(Wife opens door)

“Come in. We’ll watch one episode. Just until the doctors arrive to take you back to the hospital.”

“Want to see pictures of my resorts?”

“Sure, grandpa. Sure.”

The end.

FACT:

Mother Jones was founded as a nonprofit in 1976 because we knew corporations and the wealthy wouldn't fund the type of hard-hitting journalism we set out to do.

Today, reader support makes up about two-thirds of our budget, allows us to dig deep on stories that matter, and lets us keep our reporting free for everyone. If you value what you get from Mother Jones, please join us with a tax-deductible donation today so we can keep on doing the type of journalism 2020 demands.

payment methods

FACT:

Mother Jones was founded as a nonprofit in 1976 because we knew corporations and the wealthy wouldn't fund the type of hard-hitting journalism we set out to do.

Today, reader support makes up about two-thirds of our budget, allows us to dig deep on stories that matter, and lets us keep our reporting free for everyone. If you value what you get from Mother Jones, please join us with a tax-deductible donation today so we can keep on doing the type of journalism 2020 demands.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate