Kids, Obama Is Going to Close Gitmo And This Time He Means It.

"Don't make me pull this prison camp over. Because I will."<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/whitehouse/8228427950/in/photolist-77FTfF-dx7QXq-8f1kbP-73hfdc-87TmHp-87WrUh-8qVF4T-87TmHe-9KiCHW-eRGo1T-ny17zk-b4bpUP-8j7Qv4">The White House</a>

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Scene: President Obama, driving slowly toward the White House, announces yet again that he wants to shut down the Guantanamo prison camp. A clamor erupts in the back seat.

Kids, I’ve already told you a million times—I’m going to close Guantanamo.

This time I mean it. And no bellyaching.

Listen, I know you don’t like it, but it’s time we behaved like civilized human beings.

I don’t care who started it. That doesn’t make it right.

Will you please quiet down? I can’t even hear my own executive order over all that racket!

I’m serious now. End of discussion.

Because I am your president, that’s why!

Don’t make me pull this prison camp over. Because I will.

Just wait until your next president hears about this. Hoo boy is she gonna be mad.

Keep it up and you won’t be extralegally detaining anyone for a solid month, mister!

We’ve been over the drone thing. When you’re a president you can do whatever you want with a drone.

Don’t you “habeas schmabeas” me, young lady!

That’s it! I am so drafting a new, even stronger statement as soon as we get home.

And stop asking if we’re there yet! We’ll end this War on Terror when we get there!

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DEMOCRACY DOES NOT EXIST...

without free and fair elections, a vigorous free press, and engaged citizens to reclaim power from those who abuse it.

In this election year unlike any other—against a backdrop of a pandemic, an economic crisis, racial reckoning, and so much daily crazy—Mother Jones' journalism is driven by one simple question: Will America will move closer to, or further from, justice and equity in the years to come?

If you're able to, please join us in this mission with a donation today. Our reporting right now is focused on voting rights and election security, corruption, disinformation, racial and gender equity, and the climate crisis. We can’t do it without the support of readers like you, and we need to give it everything we've got between now and November. Thank you.

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