April 17, 2013

We All Scream For Wayne LaPierre’s Ice Cream

From my cold, dead, sticky hands…Pete Marovich/ZUMAPress (LaPierre); <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-117043192/stock-photo-four-flavors-ice-cream-with-cone-on-white-background.html">M. Unal Ozmen</a>/Shutterstock (ice cream)

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Among the revelations in last weekend’s New York Times profile of National Rifle Association chief executive Wayne LaPierre was this delicious nugget: “His fantasy,” according to a former colleague, “was to retire from the NRA and open an ice cream shop in Maine.” Should LaPierre ever beat his swords into ice cream scoops, here are a few suggestions for flavors that will set him apart from Ben & Jerry’s:

Second Amendmint

S’more Guns, Less Crime

Glocky Road

Concealed Carry Garcia

Mmmmmm-16

Stand Your Grounds (with real espresso beans!)

Jamoca Ammo Fudge

Freeze, M*****f*****!

Shall Not Be In-Fridged

Banana Clip Chip

License to Chill

Jackfruited Thugs (exotic sorbet flavor)

Wayne Swirled

What, no hand-packed pints of Gun Nut? The Star Spangled Ice Cream company beat him to it a decade ago—and even scored an endorsement from NRA board member Ted Nugent.

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We need to start raising significantly more in donations from our online community of readers, especially from those who read Mother Jones regularly but have never decided to pitch in because you figured others always will. We also need long-time and new donors, everyone, to keep showing up for us.

In "It's Not a Crisis. This Is the New Normal," we explain, as matter-of-factly as we can, what exactly our finances look like, how brutal it is to sustain quality journalism right now, what makes Mother Jones different than most of the news out there, and why support from readers is the only thing that keeps us going. Despite the challenges, we're optimistic we can increase the share of online readers who decide to donate—starting with hitting an ambitious $300,000 goal in just three weeks to make sure we can finish our fiscal year break-even in the coming months.

Please learn more about how Mother Jones works and our 47-year history of doing nonprofit journalism that you don't elsewhere—and help us do it with a donation if you can. We've already cut expenses and hitting our online goal is critical right now.

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